Reflect!

What do you feel most guilty about? What did you do? Think of a time you may have hurt somebody, whether it was by accident or on purpose. Did the guilt creep into your heart, melt into nothing, or did it make you feel alive? Some people know how to hurt while others don’t. Reflecting on our actions lets us perceive them in a brand new light that would create clarity and help us process our emotions better.

A strong, impactful form of reflection is something called exposure therapy. It’s used for people who suffered through severe trauma, such as war or loss, but there are much easier and simpler ways to reflect. You can write in a journal, you can talk to a friend, or you can simply think. All of those methods work perfectly. Personally, shower thoughts bring me the greatest reflections. The sound of rushing water truly helps calm the mind. In the end, you’ll have looked back and possibly thought of something brand new, something similar, or nothing at all. It’s still beneficial anyway.

Reflect and you will become a better person, is a pretty bold statement. When a kid is forced to go into time-out and is told to reflect, it’s usually for a bad reason. As we’ve grown older, maybe we don’t receive that type of punishment as often, but feel the punishment of guilt instead. People don’t always realize that they are in the wrong. In a heated argument and said something nasty? Purposely degrading someone to make yourself feel better? Simply ignoring someone? There are millions of ways to do something “bad,” but it does depend on the context. Maybe both parties said something bad, and both parties apologize after reflecting. I don’t have a clear reasoning behind degrading someone, but maybe the person is hurt? Or maybe that person was ignored because they did something bad to the other person. Whatever it is, I defend none. I’m not the person in that situation, so I won’t understand unless I am them. Scenarios like these are the best times to reflect for ourselves: is what I did bad? Was it truly necessary? Could there have been another path? Maybe you’ll keep your resolve, “What I did was right,” or maybe it will change, “What I did wasn’t the best.” If you find a change in your resolve or feel guilt creep onto you, then it’s time for a change. Can anyone else feel the pits in your stomach? Only you can figure yourself out.

Reflect and you will feel like a better person, is a much lighter statement. Based on the previous point, alleviating your guilt will remove a weight from your shoulders. Maybe that apology or change in character will make you feel better about yourself.

“Go and reflect about your actions” has never been said in a positive manner. But, thinking about a funny interaction or a funny video is also a version of reflection. To reflect is to think deeply or carefully about, and it’s good to be happy! Barbara Frederickson, an American psychology professor, introduced the broaden-and-build theory of positive emotions. The theory is primarily used in therapy and coaching. According to Frederickson, she explained that the broaden-and-build theory of positive emotions can “broaden people’s thought-action repertoires, and by doing so build their enduring personal resources, including physical, intellectual, social, and psychological assets” (Otake, Keiko et al). Simply, positive emotions can lead to a broader mindset and open up opportunities to take certain actions. More obviously, being happy just feels good. Here’s a few nice things to think about:

1) Your favorite person (real or fake) 2) Best achievement 3) One of your happiest moments/days/weeks 4) A small win 5) A theory or guess that you got right 6) Optimism 7) Thinking about how great you are 8) A thrilling memory 9) Hopecore videos 10) A nice vacation 11) Sleep

Who is reflection the best for anyway? You! Everyone! Good and bad, young and old, wise and dumb. Nobody is perfect after all. Everyone has done at least one unfavorable action in their life; perhaps not holding the door for someone and shutting it in their face while holding eye contact or something much more personal. The smallest action can turn into a dangerous snowball rolling down a hill. For example, someone might increase their bedtime by 10 minutes everyday. Eventually, it might lead to no sleep at all, which has been proven to be terrible for someone’s health. However, the person might not realize it or even consider it until it’s too late.

I used to have a diary app where I’d write all about my day: what I did and how I felt. The app has a feature called Reflections filled with little prompts you can fill out. There are Savoring Pleasant Moments, Moment of Vulnerability, Night Reflection, and more (that I never ever touched). I liked the simplicity of the Night Reflection, which only asks “What’s on your mind?” I wrote the most within that prompt, about 300 words each night. As I’d write, or type, I would sometimes let off steam or giggle at a silly event that happened that day. Reading my own words and feelings sometimes made me pause and think: “That’s odd” or sometimes, “No way I just thought that,” and a quick delete removed any super embarrassing words from there. above all, journaling helped me realize things that I had just never thought of. It’s nostalgic and rewarding to see how far I’ve come as a person, especially when I look back to my 6th and 7th grade self. Examining my feelings and choices, I was able to learn from them; whether or not I would take that same action again or improve it the next time.

At the end of the day, everything’s up to you. It’s up to you to discern whether or not something you did was bad; it’s up to you if you want to see another side. The tiniest forms of reflection, like journaling or simply thinking, can prove to be extremely beneficial. Sometimes, you just need to switch the view on your lens. Maybe you or someone you know needs to reflect a little. What’s on your mind?

Works Cited:

Otake, Keiko, et al. “Happy People Become Happier through Kindness: A Counting Kindnesses Intervention.” Journal of Happiness Studies, vol. 7, no. 3, Sept. 2006, pp. 361–75, https://doi.org/10.1007/s10902-005-3650-z.

Bani-chan. The Girl Who Role-Plays. Digital, 26 Apr. 2023, x.com/bossmonsterbani/status/1651346011888001025/photo/1.