If you were forced to face your biggest fear right now, would you do it? “It’ll be fine!” Perhaps that annoying phrase is repeated over and over, but maybe it will be fine? Maybe you’ll face that fear and find…that it’s not so bad?
Fears are unique to each person, whether it be spiders, heights, the deep unknown; they are all perfectly reasonable fears to fathom. I will never tell you to jump in a tank full of sharks if you’re terrified, because I am too. A billion dollars is not worth it…to a degree. But there’s a more valuable reward than riches can offer: confidence.
No sharks…yet. Let’s say your friends and family are on a long-awaited vacation to the Bahamas with their ultimate goal being to swim with sharks. You watched Jaws, so you don’t budge. When you watch your friends dive into the water, you might only think of how the color of the water will change, how it will stop sparkling. But, the water remains crystal blue. Underwater, your friends are happily swimming along with no harm done to them. Still, that gut-curdling feeling keeps you standing on the dry wooden dock.
You have two main choices: a) happily wait for your friends while doing nothing or b) join them. Say you chose choice a). Well, swimming with the sharks was the highlight of the vacation, but you shouldn’t be forced to do something you would absolutely not do, especially when you believe your life’s on the line. Yet, your friends and family came out unscathed; you missed out. At least you stood with your resolve and aren’t affected by peer pressure, but what if you chose option b)?
You decide to go with b) and dive into the water. You’re terrified; sharks are your worst nightmare! But, you decide to suck it up and swim deeper into the water where you join your friends and family. Around you are not the great whites you imagined but calm creatures who don’t mind your company. “It’s not so bad!” Everyone has a fun time and you just got over your major fear of sharks! It’s a win-win!
Another quick example is Mulan, which is where the title comes from. The song “I’ll Make a Man Out of You” is about pushing Mulan and the other recruits to become stronger. It’s difficult; Mulan’s trying to hide her identity while being treated brazenly. Eventually, Mulan becomes the strongest and stealthiest soldier within her ranks.
The swimming with sharks and Mulan analogy applies to everyday life. Instead of swimming in the big blue or going to fight a war, you might have a presentation to do. You might be meeting new people or simply asking someone a question. At least I have experience in these situations. I can assure you that they aren’t as horrible as they seem.
Let’s start with public speaking, many people’s worst nightmare. According to the National Institutes of Health, “….about 77% of the general population fears public speaking” (Heeren). It’s a reasonable fear that can be easily solved. All you have to do is “just do it.” Just like Nike says. You will never get over your fear unless you face it. Unfortunately, there is no other way, unless you want to try gaslighting yourself to stop being scared. However, you don’t inhale medicine, you consume it, or else it won’t work properly.
You can start small; no need to rush, unless you want the strongest experience. Practice presenting in front of people you’re comfortable with; the number of people doesn’t matter. Practice making eye contact–force yourself if you have to. Stare so hard into those people’s eyes until their image is engraved into your brain. Raise your voice so the whole room will echo with your voice (that’s actually really loud; just make sure people can hear you well). Feel your vocal cords stretch. As you grow more comfortable, present in front of more people; the familiar and unfamiliar, friends and classmates. At some point, you won’t need to force eye contact or raise your voice as it will become natural. Hopefully, you will feel more confident and comfortable.
You can follow a similar path with every fear, as long as it doesn’t have a 100% fatality rate. Practice makes perfect. All you need is exposure.
In summary, the best way to get over your fears is to face them head-on. From the exciting, like swimming with sharks, to the personal, like public speaking. Like Mulan, you can become strong and confident. You got this! Trust me; it’s not so bad.
Works Cited:
Heeren, Alexandre, et al. “Assessing Public Speaking Fear with the Short Form of the Personal Report of Confidence as a Speaker Scale: Confirmatory Factor Analyses among a French-Speaking Community Sample.” Neuropsychiatric Disease and Treatment, May 2013, p. 609, https://doi.org/10.2147/ndt.s43097.
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